Beach Etiquette 101

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As part of my Jersey Shore Date Nights series, today I’m talking about the #1 tourist attraction we have here at the shore – our beaches! If you and your significant other are planning on spending the day or taking a longer vacation at the beach, check out these tips for being a good beach guest.

Happy July 4th Weekend! Going to the beach this weekend to celebrate? As a Jersey Shore Girl, you know I love my beach. However, over the summer months we get a million invaders – I mean visitors.  And while I love the energy that comes to the shore over these months and meeting new people through SUP classes, the ability to relax on the beach can be challenging.  Therefore, Mr E and I have decided to share our Beach Etiquette 101 rules for those of you planning to visit our beloved Jersey Shore this summer. (PS- We are not lake or river people, nor have we ever been. I’m not sure if these same rules apply, but common courtesy never goes out of style.)

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

This is the ultimate #1 pet peeve of any Jersey Shore Local. We go to the beach. We put our chairs and towels down. And another group comes and sets up directly on top of us. There is a whole beach – why must you set up shop so our stuff is touching???  It has gotten to the point where now we have to put out extra chairs and towels to create a buffer zone against invaders. On behalf of all beach lovers, please respect personal space. You’ll still be able to enjoy sand and water. And you won’t have to show up on my Instagram feed like these cats:

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101 “Beware of Flying Umbrellas” should appear under the “Swim with Caution” signs”. There’s nothing worse than passing out for a good beach nap and having to hear the screams of my beach neighbors (most likely sitting on top of me) because a cartwheeling beach umbrella is coming at us like Godzilla. Please invest in a quality beach umbrella with an anchor – Mr E and I are big fans of this Tommy Bahama version. And if you leave to go for a swim or the bathroom, close the umbrella. Impalement looks as good as a sunburn, people.

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

I think the whole spray-on sunscreen is a packaging and marketing ploy by the pharma companies to sell more product. How is it that a lotion lasts till August, yet I give my legs a spray and the can is kicked? If you choose to use spray-on sunscreen, please step away from the neighbors you’ve set your stuff directly on top of and give yourself a good coat to protect from the sun. And if it happens to be a windy day, take the wind direction into account as well. No one wants to be hit by sunscreen particles that took a U-turn.

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

I’m all about packing a cooler to avoid long lines and paying $4 for a slice of pizza. Plus, you know, the dietitian in me prefers the healthy stuff when I can.  If you choose to bring your own snacks, don’t leave them out in the open. I’m not even talking from a food safety standpoint. The seagulls in Jersey have as much attitude as the people.  The seagulls in Finding Nemo have nothing on Jersey Gulls. They don’t give an F about who’s food it is – if you leave it out in the open, they will eat it. I’ve watched these guys go right into someone’s bag, unwrap a poorly wrapped sandwich, and chomp it down in 2 bites while the unsuspecting owner went for a swim.  . I could’ve shoed it away, but I call it payback for putting your stuff on top of mine.

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

There are trash AND recycling cans on the beach for a reason. Nothing hurts my heart or eyesight more when I see trash just left in the sand once visitors leave for the day. Plus, scraps of food attract flocks of those dirty seagulls. Now I have a flock of seagulls crowding my area because that’s where you left your trash. Don’t be a Litter Bug.

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

One of the many reasons I don’t go to “traditional” Jersey Shore bars and clubs is because I can’t listen to the same song playing for 6 hours. If I wanted to hear Sandstorm play on a loop and fist pump, I’d go to D’Jais and hang with Jersey Shore cast knock-offs.  So please don’t bring your Beats Pill, turn it up to 11, and play club music for the entire beach to hear. And as I’ve been telling people for years since MTV invaded our shores, real Jersey Shore Locals don’t fist pump. Or pump gas, but that’s for another post.

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

I love hearing kids laughing and having a blast enjoying a beach day. What Mr E and I don’t appreciate if when kids run right next to (or through) our coveted beach space kicking up sand all over us. That rule goes for grown-ups too.

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

Beach games are a blast to play! Whether its paddleball, football, or can jam, play to your heart’s content. But don’t play in the spot where you’ve set up camp directly on top of my beach towel. Just like no one wants to be caught off-guard by an unsecured umbrella, no one wants to be Marsha Brady’d by a rogue football.

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

You had a fun day at the beach – hooray! Now it’s time to pack up and go home. Cars full of sand are lame, so shaking out that sandy towel is a smart move. Know what’s not smart? Doing it right next to that neighbor you set up directly next to earlier that day. Instead of causing sand to fly into your unwilling neighbor’s eyes, take a little walk away from people and give that towel a good shake.

BEACH ETIQUETTE 101

There’s nothing better than a romantic day at the beach. Enjoy splashing in the ocean. Sneak in a massage while putting on sunblock. Have a picnic. Cuddle up in a chair or on a towel. But please don’t have a full-on high school makeout sesh right next to your too-close neighbor. I love the Wicked Games music video like any child of the 80s, but let’s leave the sexiness to Helena Christensen and the other guy who was lucky enough to cast her in his video.

HAVE A BLAST AT THE BEACH THIS WEEKEND!

WHAT BEACH “PET PEEVES” DO YOU HAVE?

SHARE YOUR SHORE NO-NO’S IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!