A Eulogy to the Football Widows

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Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here today to once again mourn the loss of the men in our lives to those 3 letters that claim the attention span of millions of American men each year: NFL.

As a woman, I will admit that I like football.  I cheer on my beloved Penn State Nittany Lions every Saturday.  I’ll try to watch the Giants game on Sundays (usually while blogging or cooking meals).  I get excited to create something amazing for tailgates.  We travel to different cities every year to catch a game in a new stadium. I even played in a Fantasy Football league with Mr E that I somehow held my own and even managed to win the championship twice (NO – Mr E provided absolutely no coaching advice).

But Mr E takes his obsession with football to another level.  He plays in 5 (6? 10?) different fantasy leagues. He does Draft Kings and Fan Duel on a weekly basis. Football is on the big TV every Sunday, Monday, Thursday, and the occasional Saturday pro game.  And all things revolve around when the Eagles play, and where he can catch the game.

football widow

Living in the NY market, Giants and Jets games get broadcast priority, which means Mr E will head over to our local sports bar to catch the Philly games. We have been on vacations that have involved researching bars that play Eagles games. The weekend we got engaged, Mr E frantically followed the Giants/Eagles game on his phone during our celebratory brunch and was bummed to have missed out on what is now dubbed the Miracle at the Meadowlands 3. I know football is his first true love, because, in all fairness, he’s known football longer than he’s known me.

Rather than feeling jealous of an oblong brown ball and 53 obscenely large men (usually donning a midnight green jersey), I choose to embrace my ME time. And my fellow Football Widows should do the same. Use the precious time you get to yourself to try out that barre or yoga class you’ve been thinking about. Treat yourself to brunch at that vegan restaurant you know he won’t set foot in.  Use the peace and quiet to meal prep. Make friends with other Football Widows and start your own Sunday Tradition. Learn to knit. Or host a meal prep party. Whatever it is, make the time about YOU.  Don’t worry, he’ll be back in February.

So as the 2017 NFL season kicks off this post-Labor Day weekend, join me in this Football Widow Prayer:

Dear Football Gods,

Please watch over my husband these next 5-6 months as his team goes into battle week after week. While the game outcome has no direct impact on his life, I aim to avoid the devastation and aftermath that occurs when his team loses. Thank you for your generosity in providing us that one bye week a season so we can enjoy a Sunday afternoon with our men. And may he please avoid sinning with pizza, wings, and beer multiple times a week as he tries to nourish himself from his armchair quarterback position. May you grant him a safe return in February with a Superbowl championship. 

Yours Truly, 

The Football Widows of America

Are you a fellow Football Widow?

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Know that you’re not alone!

Eulogy Football Widow

20 thoughts on “A Eulogy to the Football Widows

  1. LOVE THIS!!! I am married to a Bears fan however we transplanted back to San Diego so he’s struggling with the entire thing still (5 years later). Though he’ll always be a Chicago sports fan at heart, I’m slowly getting him to understand we can tivo and watch later 🙂 Doesn’t really work 🙂

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